#so few people sees this anyways

[mitamicah]

I am in a bit of a paradox right now where I want to talk about something that worries me especially because it has reached the point where I find myself in a freeze like state (you know like fight-flight-freeze-fawn?). My mind is racing and alert but my body is paralyzed ...

And yet at the same time I don't want to talk about it because it is so trivial and stupid and silly and unimportant compared to everything else that is going on.

The short version is that I have to let my internship know that I have been given permission to take a break December 2-4 and again December 16-18. Since there's less than two weeks until the first of these dates I am freaking out because they should need to know sooner rather than later but also I have rescheduled twice already - this week and the next - because of two doctors appointments so part of me want to at least have one of the doctor's appointments to be over with before I throw them another bomb like 'hey your intern is asking for way more than they are worth again by taking a break in one of the busiest months of the year' especially since I just learned today that we have two weeks of break during christmas already so I'd basically have one whole and two half weeks in the upcoming month (originally the plan was that my internship stopped in midnovember but then it got prolonged to late november and now january hence why I had to drop announcements like this in waves ... I had litterally planned as if I didn't have a job to then now deal with the consequences aka being put in a very bad spotlight and omg I have been ranting again I am so sorry making this all about me when you have it way worse.

I should just freaking do this thing but I am so scared of looking like a ungrateful brat that is immature and bad at planning for the future and the internship directly or indirectly rejecting me because of this.

Not helping the fact that I am struggling a bit with body image and negative self talk especially around keeping myself in line for the upcoming appointments about possible top surgery either in sweden or in denmark plus the appointment I have with a study about the physiological effect of hrt where I have my one year check in next week and I am not in a place where I like to be with my weight and that terrifies me because I keep imagining people commenting on my appearance or my weight with a tone that indicates that I'd failed and so it's game over for me and I am not being allowed hrt or surgery anymore and I know this is not how the world works but the thoughts keeps spinning and I am very much not having a great time rn, and I should because how fkn lucky and privilegded I am.

I have had Everybody's Waiting [Joker Out's angsty 'maybe I need therapy' song] on repeat in my mind and litterally for days and while typing this out I definitely feel like we were getting scaringly close to an Autiomaa Light.

Please tell me I am just an overdramatic teenager and tell me what to do. I need somebody to take control of my life just for one minute so I can make a decision then deal with the consequences tomorrow (also great, another day without me drawing anything - another part where I am feeling like a failure)

[monkesupreme]

ref

a satisfactory answer for Selina

[marvelsmostwanted]

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[alpacacare-archive]

day twoe ah haha

[autumn-may]

terrisas really funny ithink

[expelliarmus]

[vynnyal]

I've been having a delightful time stumbling over my emojis being used in random servers, so here's more

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"What do you mean their name isn't Beef?"

(for @moondal514)

[uncanny-tranny]

The weirdest thing I see cis people do is misunderstanding how trans labels work so for any cis person who may need this...

Trans man, trans male, transmasc, or other variations of transmasculinity refers most typically to a person who is transitioning towards masculinity in identity, not away from it. A trans man would be a person who is transitioning towards manhood, for example (such as a person who is FTM).

Trans woman, trans female, transfem, or other variations of transfemininity refers most typically to a person who is moving towards femininity in identity, not away from it. A trans woman is transitioning towards womanhood.

There will always be exceptions to these guidelines, however, I find that cis people often mistakenly apply incorrect labels because they are trying to communicate what they think a trans person's assigned gender/sex is. The trans community will focus on the current identity one holds to communicate who we are. I am a trans male because I am bother trans and male and because it is my current identity, if it helps you understand.

[takingasterix]

Queen Guinevere's guard dog (AKA the Court Sorcerer of Camelot)

quick little thing because i got bored and LOVE this concept

[httpuckdrop]

a lot of thoughts are being thunk

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

[dve]

the saint of duty + an iliad's hector of troy

An Iliad, Lisa Peterson & Denis O'Hare, p. 480 / Harrow the Ninth, p. 124, 133, 191, 193, 194, 204, 228, 267 292, 469 / Nona the Ninth, p. 30, 399, 402

[palarien]

kabumisu doodles (´▽｀)